Open Your Eyes

Again, I'm making the crucial perfect plan
Just in time for this moment at hand
I know I've always had what it takes
But you merely take what I've always had

Just open your eyes and see
That my feelings for you
Are so damn real

For you I'll do everything
Just to hear you say
That you love me

All this time that I have been waiting
Makes me wanna just give up trying
Though I'm not expecting the best out of it
I'll take my chances 'coz she's truly worth it

spending my days with you.

days like these start out great.i love rainy days.they always make me smile and today it did its job.

i just know that everything would work out fine today.i just dont want to tell everything here.id just leave it to myself.

the more you talk, the less i hear by armor for sleep

You've seen me, do I look okay to you?

Give me your handI'll shake it and shake it again

I'll smile until my face falls off my head

If it's good for you, it's good for me too

What did I say?

Why do you give a shit?

They're trying to pry into my brain

But I'm gone

I'm running down highways

Till I see your face

I just need to see you now

I don't care about anything else

Their words are flying over my head

I try and hear, but I'm somewhere else again

You laugh and I smile back to humor you

If it's good for you, it's good for me too

What did I say?

Why do you give a shit?

They're trying to pry into my brain

But I'm goneI'm running down highways

Till I see your face

I just need to see you now

I just need to see you now

I don't care about anything else

It's raining outside

There's a storm front on my back

Trying to keep, trying to keep me away from you

A stranger's up ahead, holding up a knife

Trying to keep, trying to keep me away from you

It's raining outside

There's a storm front on my back

Trying to keep, trying to keep me away from you

The stars are falling down

Breaking up the road

Trying to keep, trying to keep me away from you

I'll scream till I bleed

I scream stay away from me

They can't keep me back

Keep me back

Well I'll scream till I bleed

I scream stay away from me

They cant keep me back

Keep me back

What did I say?

Why do you give a shit?

I just need to see you now

I just need to see you now

I just need to see you now

I don't care about anything else

I just need to see you now

I don't care about anything else

walang nangyari.

today sucks.nothing happened.okay?but the lyrics im about to post tells everything i feel right now.

she's too far away for me to hold.

today was not what i expected it to be.but it was okay.i didnt get to do something i wanted but its alright.i couldve tried but i shitted out.maybe next time id be better.

she was right there but i couldnt do anything.maybe because i was afraid or something.theres still something in me that holds me back.maybe because of her words yesterday that kept me from doing anything.i just cant.im too afraid of rejection.i was feeling it coming today and was afraid of it too much.damn.im always saying next time but when the fuck would that be.maybe when i hear reassuring words then maybe i can start doing things.or maybe not.i dont trust myself at all at this.i hate myself for being this way but theres nothing i can do about it.i wish something would happen to change things and make them go my way.as if it would....

again.

im back. it's been some time now. so much has happened. i cant even think about everything now. i think im gonna cut this one into sections just like in mechanics. haha.

music.

man.it's been fun.the gigs.the times together.though ive not been the perfect man for the band, its been great.everything's fine.we're like playing the best we can for these people and we dont care if they like it or not.though there were times when we felt like crap, everything turned out fine when we played.i think we're all better now by a thousand leaps than we were before.i believe now that we can be a good band no matter what.

school.

so much greater.i lost so much confidence in myself since the 4th quarter when i failed math.i think everything escalated last qtr since we had like so many minor subjects that i felt like nothing was worth in school anymore.then this quarter came.the quarter where math was like THE ONLY SUBJECT.i came in feeling like i wouldnt pass any of the maths.but when i passed the mechanics quiz and felt good about my discrete math quiz, i think and i believe that im getting that swagger back.i think the confidence is getting back into my system which is a pretty good thing since i depend on that confidence to boost me up.so right now i think id be able to pass this quarter.

life.

dull.as usual.love.imperfect.just like before.i dont know what's happening anymore.i dont know if what im doing is making any more sense.i know it does but for all the wrong reasons.not that wrong but not that right either.but i know i have to keep doing it.i know this would work if she'd give me that chance.but that chance wont come if i dont do anything though.i dont know what to do yet but id think about it.maybe id be better at this.maybe things would turn out to be good.i just hope that what im doing is not just the total waste of time that i have done before.

patience without hope is bullshit.

the quarter has ended and i dont believe i have gained anything and i can see that i am slowly losing everything.reassurance in words does not guarantee its truth in action.again im waiting.but waiting for what?the future i cannot see because hope i cannot find.the decisions i have made were like the nails to my coffin.they snatched me of the only hope i had left.now i think i can see the next quarter to be dark again.just like in the beginning last year.its gonna be night again because the sun will set on me.

and why the fuck do i have to be so stubborn.im pushing myself towards her only to find myself buried in a deeper hole.i try to crawl out but my own selfish self draws me in.i wanted to go closer to her but suddenly all i see is the truth.it hurts but hurts more when you dont pay attention...when you look only onto your own side of the story...when you are nothing to her yet shes everything to you.

when will i learn?maybe never.id keep on going with the fear of failure and rejection.id keep on pretending and keeping my feelings to myself and not having the guts to get to you.

why does it have to be you?why not someone else who i can try more easily?why not someone who perfectly fits with me?

what do i have to do in order for things to happen?do i need to do more of what i have been doing to you?do i need to change myself for you?do i need to do something?i know i have to and i have to keep on doing it until you finally give in.i hope that happens before i fold.its not gonna be long before that happens.hope.i need you.someone gave it to me but i took it all away by myself.i am overreacting but what am i to do?this is what i do.and i hate it.

i just wish that something would happen and like get me back on my feet.you knocked me too hard that i cant stand up.

dreams are just make-believe

i hope this one's not. i hope the song gets to you.

armor for sleep - dream to make-believe

It's funny how things work out,

the ones we need don't know we're there

If I were sand

and you were oceans,

the moon would be

why you're pulled to me

I wake up and think dreams are real

I sleep so I don't have to feel

the truth that you can never be

the one person that won't ever forget me

I hope that dreams

come when I die

so we can talk

I won't wake up

I'll ask you how

your life worked out

I'll never knowthat

I'm just dreaming

I wake up and think dreams are real

I sleep so I don't have to feel

the truth that you can never be

the one person that won't ever forget me

Let me sleep some more...